Stick your merger up your arse!


There is a team from Telford Street

That other teams just couldn't beat

Along came a couple, full of surprise,

Cordiner and Larg from Enterprise.

No interest in football they declared,

Along with Jags you'll have to be paired.

To join the big league is our aim,

But we cenainly won't be playing the game.

We'll kill your club and take your money,

No way Norman, that's not funny.

Other lies they told to us,

These were approved by Gordy Bus.

Up on the stage, right at the front,

Sat MacKenzie, Miller and Falconer the cant.

Questions asked, no answers given,

To despair we all were driven.

To end this mess a vote was held,

On hearing the result Miller's head swelled,

The merger is on he said with a grin,

To kill the CALEY we shall begin.

As from the Muirtown we all did walk,

The two-faced bastards stayed to talk,

"My heart said no, my head said yes",

This was just the start of the mess,

Arguments raged all over the town,

Falconer's stupid, Miller's a clown.

Groups were formed, requests were made,

But in a clique the bastards stayed,

At last they cracked and set a date,

This merger crap would know its fate.

To the Rose Street Hall we all did troop,

To see how low the traitors would stoop.

From the meeting 11 fans were banned,

The killing of CALEY was going as planned.

The CALEY'S death was never in doubt,

As free season tickets were handed out.

Come and vote yes and push it through,

And very good care we'll take of you.

The meeting began that Wednesday night,

Falconer started the usual shite.

Players and staff tumed out in the rain,

With lots of folk you'll not see again.

Bribery, corruption, we saw it all,

“HIRED HELP” in the Rose Street Hall.

The ban must stay, the fans stay out,

Proposed by Miller, seconded by Crout.

The merger vote scraped through that night,

CALEY IS DEAD through HIRED HELP shite.

To steal the assets they did stay,

Hand them over, NO FUCKING WAY.

The only way to end this farce,

IS STICK YOUR MERGER UP YOUR ARSE!

Anon

(Tomatin Distillery 1994)

Last update 27/5/01